Inside Voices

I don't seem to talk too much about my ex. Natural, I guess -- we've been separated for nearly seven years. We've each got our own lives, and seem to be dealing with them quite well.

The one place where our lives intersect though, and always will, is with our daughter, Robin. And occasionally, like tonight, Russ blows me away with how amazing a Dad he is. He's involved and fully engaged with his daughter's life, and I never feel like I'm doing this by myself.

Robin got into an incident tonight at karate where she lost her temper on the mat. She was provoked, but she overreacted and instead of trying to get the attention of an instructor, allowed the situation to escalate until she snapped and launched herself at the blue belt she was sparring with -- and I have little doubt that she fully intended to do everything in her power to rip the little shit's head from his shoulders.

The instructor in charge intervened before she made contact and sent them both off the mat. Robin knew immediately what she had done and what it could mean -- she's a black belt facing a test for her first degree in less than a month. Losing control like this is not good.

After class we had a twenty-minute conference with one of the owners of the school -- the woman who trained Robin for her black belt. It was a good conference, and very productive for Robin. I definitely think she will come out of this better for the experience.

When we got home, I contacted Russ and filled him in. It was a wonderful talk -- give and take, and reassured me that even though I was inwardly freaking out at my daughter's rage and anguish, I hadn't fucked up in helping her deal with this. He made some good observations, and I really felt like it was going to be okay.

Maybe it is about the external validation...at least in some areas. Whatever it is, I'm so very grateful I'm not raising my daughter alone.