telaryn: (Default)
My cousin is the one singinging!!!!!!!!! This is like an actual Saturday mornng cartoon and everything!!!!!!!!!! (okay on the CW, but still!)

telaryn: (Family)
To All My Familial Lurkers:

Now that events of the past week are, well, past...I'm going to be starting to gradually make this a public blog once again. And as such, I really need to ask that you leave this site alone. I've built a community of friends here who have supported me unwaveringly through *all* the tough times of the past year here...and I need to be free and comfortable to talk to them in my own fashion.

There will be *nothing* posted publically about anything having to do with anyone in the family aside from Robin (and even that may not end up being the case...I don't know). All you're going to read here are fannish ramblings, rants on society, discussion of the mundanities of my life, and things that are solely of interest to me.

You'll also see further evidence that your sister/niece/cousin is somewhat of a freak -- but I promise you that hasn't changed one iota in the past year.

I think we've all learned a lot about each other in the past year, and I hope part of what you've learned about me is that I really have *no* problems answering any questions you have about anything I might have said or hinted at. Let's leave our interactions in the real world, where familial interactions belong.
telaryn: (Equivalent Exchange)
So I spent yesterday hiding and being self-indulgent. Didn't really do anything I was supposed to do -- just worked on my dress for this weekend, overdosed on old school General Hospital, IM'd with the boyfriend and wrote smut.

Didn't even feel guilty about it, because I knew this morning was going to start sucking bright and early. See, Mom went in for her knee replacement surgery this morning. So I had to coordinate getting her to the hospital, getting Robin to the bus stop, getting Dad fed and (at his insistence) getting the two of us to the hospital to wait out the surgery. And, based on last year's experience, suffering through Dad pestering me every twenty minutes about why we haven't heard anything yet.

Plus I got my period yesterday.

So, against all odds, the schedule worked this morning. I had sufficient time to get everything done I needed to. Dad wasn't overtly stressed or crazy, and managed to handle getting himself dressed for the most part. I helped, but not as much as I helped on vacation -- and the only thing he really missed on was trying to wear a bathrobe as a coat.

And then -- we get to the hospital, and against all odds one of his oldest friends and one of the nicest guys he ever did business with is sitting in the waiting room waiting for *his* wife to get out of surgery. They're currently catching up, while I enjoy the wireless connection I found.

Heh. Guess the universe remembered my birthday is this week after all.
telaryn: (Tony + Michelle OTP!)
Oh how I've missed you!

"Convicted in Absentia":

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
42,879 / 100,000

As I said over on [ profile] nanonov, with luck and a few hours at Starbucks, I *should* pass the NaNo mark today. If not, definitely tomorrow.

50K in 10-11 days? I'll take that. Particularly when a lot of the past week has been devoted to rewriting/polishing the first couple of chapters. I know, I know -- not supposed to do that during NaNo (and I wouldn't recommend it for most people) -- but at the pace I've been setting, I don't think it's really going to hurt my ability to complete this thing on time.

Plus, I want to be able to have the first three chapters ready to go out in a query package by November 30 -- which means editing/polishing. Luckily it hasn't required much -- my characters are all in a cooperative mood and more than ready to party.

The big challenge on the horizon story-wise is that I've had to write in two additional characters. One of them is going to *really* want to go with Jason and Diane on their adventures and, well, she can't. She'll interfere, she'll weigh down the storyline, and she'll just generally make me miserable.

Ironically enough, she's already causing me problems. Her name (nickname, actually) is Callie, and she's the team mechanic. *facepalm* No wonder she's annoying me right now.

Been fighting off a cold and general ickiness all week. It's not a surprise -- between life and having my brain tied up in this book, I'm not sleeping well or sufficiently. I'm *really* trying to do better, but it's probably going to be touch and go until the end of the month.

Allergy issues aren't helping, but I invested in some Tylenol Day/Night formula for Robin (who's also been suffering), and it appears to be really wonderful stuff. Haven't tried the nighttime stuff yet; it knocked Robin on her ass last weekend, so I've been kind of leery.

Of course she *does* have her father's nonexistant tolerance for those kind of medications...but on the other hand, I haven't been suffering all that much.

Things around the apartment have been surprisingly calm. We're entering another week of Dad charting reasonable/normal bloodsugar readings, so for the first time in nearly a year I'm not dreading his labs next week. Everything else has gotten more manageable as well -- he's listening to Mom and I more, and actually *asking* for help instead of trying to pretend he can still do things. I'm probably going to have to bite the bullet and just handle helping him get dressed while we're away Thanksgiving week, but I definitely want to ease Mom back into that position as quickly as possible.

Not surprisingly (to me, at any rate), Mom is doing *much* better. She's still going in for surgery on the 27th (and needs to), but she hasn't suffered any adverse effects from cutting back the valium dosage. In fact, she's had a lot more energy -- last weekend was the first in far too long that she didn't spend most of it in bed. She's also been offered the possibility of more temp work in December at the Clerk's office, and is considering the possibility that she could be able to do it with a walker. If her doctor agrees -- I think it would be *great* for her self-esteem and recovery.

Gods -- I think what this is all boiling down to is that things are all right. Maybe even...good, with the possibility of better in the future.

Shower. Shower, then back to work! *brandishes pen*
telaryn: (Surfers)
Yanno, in a perverse sort of way, it's liberating to have the external validation of your writer's group telling you: "No, it's not just you. Put the project down and back away for a while."

Now I feel like I can tackle it whenever I *feel* like working on it, and I'm not being irresponsible by rereading the Penguin in order to set myself up for NaNo.

Today was a good Telaryn mental health day, but like all Telaryn mental health days it was punctuated by (relatively) minor Dad drama, three calls from my mother and two calls from my daughter. All about fairly inconsequential shit -- hell, the Dad drama was that I told him very calmly that I did not appreciate him yelling at me about his morning medication when I was just trying to help.

Which got translated later to my mother that I was pissed off at him about something he said and stormed out of the house.

I'd almost go wtf?, but it's so commonplace these days that it just rolls off the metaphorical back. You have to go a little insane to do what we do.

And Robin's sinuses are acting up, so she doesn't feel well. Which meant that even though she interrupted me twice at writer's group, she still felt the need to whine at Grandma about "when is Mom coming home?"


So now I'm home, the daughter has been medicated and comforted, and I have heard all the various and sundry adventures of the day.

I'm torn between saying "fuck it" and just going to bed, and curling up with the Penguin. Research. Yeah -- that's what it is. Research. :)
telaryn: (Kiefer "Dude!" by miggy)
My niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great aunt!

I'm seriously reconsidering letting my hair go back to its normal shade. *g*
telaryn: (Faith No Panties by anniesj)
After a long, emotional roller coaster of a day, I called [ profile] laughingimp and [ profile] llamachameleon to wish them Happy Beltane.

In a relatively brief (for us) conversation, they managed to give me a wonderful dose of the sillies -- the perfect antidote to too deep introspection and generally sucky depressive moods.

Reminded me in the best sort of way that no matter how unsettled and "not happy" I can get with my life, sometimes I've just got to shove it all aside, quit worrying about fixing the problems, and laugh.

Joy for joy's sake, without analysis, qualification or reservation is one of the most amazing gifts the Goddess has given us.

And in that immediate "karmic lessons for dummies" way my life tends to go, I hung up with Imp and Llama, and went downstairs to find Mom and Dad watching "Singin' in the Rain" -- one of the films *GUARANTEED* to make me smile every time I watch it.

Once that was over, I found my favorite Eddie Izzard standup special on HBO Comedy.

Could I be doing something more productive? Probably.

Could I be doing something more emotionally healthy? Not right now -- no way in hell.

Here endeth the Sabbat lesson. *g*

Now I need to buy myself a whistle. ;)
telaryn: (Bad Ass Faith)
Just got a call from my sister.

My four year old niece punched some kid in the face without provocation at pre-K this week.

If that wasn't bad enough, she ran into a yellow jacket's nest at play group yesterday (non-school), and was stung 24 times. Inside her mouth, in her ears, all over. *cringe*

At least she was with responsible adults who took her immediately to the emergency room. I just want to go back to Atlanta, gather her in my arms, and bring her back home with me.
telaryn: (Default)
Making a delivery to [personal profile] tinne at lunch time.

BTVS tapes and alcohol.

Some would say one should not be experienced without the other. *snerk*

In other news, the quest for fodder for the garage sale to end all garage sales continues. Lest you folks think [personal profile] tinne is the only one receiving alcohol, just wait. I believe before the weekend is over I'll have goodies for most of the local folk.

Dad insisted on hauling the recycling bin to the curb himself this morning. I think it's really been bothering him the last several weeks that the bin's too heavy for him and not me. Male pride takes strange forms sometimes, and his has been overdosing on steroids for years.

Basically the rationale went that because my 34 year old body is capable of lifting that bin, his 73 year old body should be able to as well.

He's currently in bed, sound asleep.

We started Robin on the Zoloft this morning. Her bloodwork came back totally normal, which is a good thing to know outside of the psych stuff. She actually was able to swallow the pill...half pill actually, but the sucker's small enough that I don't think she'll have *any* problems with the full dose when we work up to that.

Now I just need to coordinate counselling appointments.

And Amy & Co. arrive tomorrow.


I asked for motivation. I asked for productivity.

I'm just gonna keep repeating that until we're out of here. *g*
telaryn: (Default)
Getting ready for the garage sale.

Plowed through a box of school papers stretching from 5th grade through college. Wow. Culled what I wanted to keep, but *GAWD* I was a strange one.

Robin's blood draw was this morning. She had a righteous panic attack prior to the procedure, but once she calmed down everything was fine.

Dad is *helping* us get ready for the garage sale. Pray for us.

Dinner with the ex-in laws tonight. See above.
telaryn: (Default)
Wanted to be brilliant, witty and insightful. Really I did.

It was a long, long day, with much driving by me and the Little Dude in the demon machine with no A/C. But, everyone ended up if not entirely happy...then satisfied. I managed to get everything accomplished that I absolutely needed to, and didn't lose my mind in the process. Go me!

The Cruxshadows' "Wishfire" is an *amazing* album. If you haven't heard it, DO SO NOW. That is all. I'm not sure I even have a favorite song off it yet, although "Coming Home" is edging out "Orphean Wing" as of this writing.

I suppose it should be reassuring that life is turning out to be as busy as I knew it would be at this point?

Significant life decision -- I've pretty much resolved that I'm not going back to Girl Scouting. There's too much going on, especially where things are going with Robin, and I need to be able to focus on that and her, instead of worrying about running a troop of Juniors effectively.

This doesn't mean Robin is done with Girl Scouts. Not by a long shot. We'll take the year off, but all things being equal I'd like to see her in a good troop next year. I'm just at a point where I realize it not only doesn't *have* to be a troop lead by me, it probably shouldn't be.

I see you over there mocking me, [personal profile] grindar, don't think that I don't! *g*

Ex in-laws are in town, and wanting to take me and Robin to dinner tomorrow. Robin is very happy to see them, and I think it will be far easier to see them socially when it's just Robin and I. Last year's attempt at a "social dinner" was just six degrees of awkward for everybody (*except* Robin) IMO.

Of course Robin informed me tonight that Grandma told her she didn't have to do the jump ropes anymore. There was also something about an alternate exercise, but I gently reminded Robin that Grandma is not in charge of her exercise regimen -- her Dad and I are.

I *suspect* Robin misunderstood what was being said by Grandma, but still...

Blood draw tomorrow, eight am. Also have to set the counselling appointment and arrange to clue school in on what's happening. Then have to deal with all the bullshit of getting the pay request out the door. No, it didn't get mailed off today -- but not due to anything *I* was in control of. I did *my* part...even while watching a toddler in North St. Pete!

Factor in cleaning, packing, and continuing to prepare for the garage sale to end all garage sales, and I predict another sound night's sleep for yours truly. Mom's been both busy *and* productive, which is cool, since she's the lynchpin in this whole mess.

At least I caught Charmed *last* night, so there's no reason for me to force myself to stay up past Robin going to bed.

Ah, the little things that become important! *g*

I'm sure there was other stuff I wanted to get down in words, but I'm suddenly very much aware that I only got five hours of sleep last night.
telaryn: (Default)
No, I'm not *actively* trying to recapture my college days. I *promise*!

8:30 in the morning, and it's already been a roller coaster of a day. I was tired when I got home from ABC night last night, and I've been fighting a cold, so I pretty much went straight to bed. Forgetting, of course, that today was Red-Green Tag Day at Robin's school.


I just need to accept the fact that whenever St. Paul's has a themed Tag Day (day that they can wear normal clothes instead of uniforms), the theme is going to involve some article or type of clothing that my daughter does not own.

So at 6:15 this morning, I was faced with the ethical dilemma I believe all mother's face several times during their children's schooling years.

Do I take the easy route and be the bitch-mom, sending her to school in something *other* than what everyone else is wearing? Or do I race to the nearest 24 hour Wal Mart and try to come up with something not outrageously expensive and kill myself getting back in time for her to finish getting ready and get to school?

*And* on a day when I was committed to watching [personal profile] harmonyfb's youngest, did I mention that?

Yeah, yeah -- I caved. *cue rationalization* It wasn't *that* big a deal, I found a shirt for only $5, she's had a hard week, and she's coming down with a cold.

So, that brings us to raiding [personal profile] harmonyfb's refrigerator for something resembling food that I didn't have to work at.

My instincts were obviously working ahead of my good sense, though -- I'm beginning to suspect that it wasn't the best choice I could have made for sustenance. *g*

Ah well. At least Little Dude is sleeping late this morning. He's a wonderful kid.

Pace is not likely to slow down at all, however. Leave here at 2pm, go pick up Robin, drop her at home, grab stuff for the show, drop off Jack, set up for Gulfport, work Gulfport, go to coffee.

No wonder I decided to blow off Necronomicon . I'll be lucky if I'm conscious tomorrow.

*snerk* Okay, that was funny, thinking that I could rest tomorrow. Ex-in-laws in town this weekend, Robin has a birthday party to go to on Sunday, and Mom and I have hit scramble point to get as much accomplished as possible before Amy hits town in a week.

We're having the garage sale to end all garage sales next Saturday -- you guys are more than welcome to come.

FTR, I'm really not complaining. Venting, yes -- complaining, no. It just gets tiring going at this pace in such concentrated bursts after such a long, hopeless, depressive spell.

But I promise -- it beats the alternative, and I'm aware of that.